Shanti L. Nelson

< go to about me >

Writing

Join me in launching Midlife Bytes on Substack. I appreciate your support (and I promise to make it interesting.

An adult crush is such an elusive creature, like a snow leopard or a rare bird that you know exists but never see. I’m not talking about a celebrity or a musician crush, or in the case of my friend’s 24-year-old daughter, “I get crushes all the time, Shanti, on TikTok.”
Click to read article

The pickleball floodgates opened fast and they opened wide – I found a community, a sense of purpose and belonging
Click to read article

We’re 45 minutes into the job interview and I’ve heard the word “literally” 27 times. And don’t even get me started on “pivot”. I’m about to pivot my 53-year-old keister out of this freakin’ interview. Literally.

Never mind that I need an interpreter to understand 75% of what this communications director has been talking about since we started the interview.

Click to continue reading

“Just one more profile and I’ll quit,” I tell myself. Yeah, right, who am I kidding?

I need an online dating intervention. Or a miracle.
It’s 2am and I’m wide awake – weary, wired and spun out.
I’ve been swiping for seven hours non-stop with nothing to show for it but an empty bottle of Pinot Grigio, a dull headache, massively dehydrated skin and most likely a trigger thumb. Thanks, Bumble.

Click to continue reading

The Guardian: Click to read

The Guardian: Click to read

The Guardian: Click to read

Los Angeles Times: Click to read

shanti nelson writing los angeles — Illustration by Lori Lora / For the Times

My aunt insisted he was perfect for me. Then she tried his vegan macaroons

She lures me to L.A. with the promise of a suitor — not just one but a multitude of hand-picked middle-aged, maybe divorced, probably Jewish and most certainly bitter bachelors. “Santa Monica is teeming with good men your age.” Really? I didn’t get that memo.

Her daily spiel is aggressive, peppered with enticing sound bites meant to convince me that migrating south is the key to finding love. “You’re almost 50. You’ll end up joining an ashram if you stay up there.”
Click here to continue reading in the Los Angeles Times

Why I started writing (and thank god I finally did)

Why I started writing (and thank god I finally did)

Grief was the catalyst to jumpstart my writing; sharing my voice with others has been proven to be the ultimate creative muse.

Shanti NelsonAugust 12, 2023writing, grief, parents, midlife, menopause, creative muse, writer, loss, family, loveComment

The Boston Globe: On the indignities and joys of solo travel at menopausal midlife

The Boston Globe: On the indignities and joys of solo travel at menopausal midlife

I was five months into my middle-aged gap year, hot-flashing my way around Europe with my surly sidekick, menopause. At 52, I’m taking the trip I never took in my 20s.

Shanti NelsonNovember 9, 2022menopause, solo travel, travel, grief, loss, mother, hot flashes, middle-age, europe, travel writing, writing, humor, humor writing, writer, The Boston Globe, published

The Boston Globe: End of Subject

The Boston Globe: End of Subject

It’s 1986, and I’m a brooding teenager who’s already irritated with the world when she decapitates my plan to deflower my left ankle when I turn 18.

Shanti NelsonNovember 6, 2022Memoir, flash memoir, family, jewish mother, jewish traditions, humor, writing, humor writing, tattoo, grandmother, The Boston Globe, Will Dowd

The Ashes of Love

The Ashes of Love

I found my mom’s ashes at the foot of my dad’s bed. They were wrapped in her favorite light blue cotton sweater and nestled between a cold hot water bottle and a thick pair of wool socks from REI.

Shanti NelsonSeptember 20, 2022grief, love, loss, parents, death, mom Comments

Banana Cake & the Joy of Loving

Banana Cake & the Joy of Loving

He had outlived the love of his life, existing solely in the shadow of his own sorrow, depleted by grief. He’s alone, heartbroken, and already isolated enough as it is. And now, we faced the threat of quarantine looming over our Sunday afternoon routine. It broke my heart wide open.

Shanti NelsonSeptember 17, 2022Joy of Cooking, Banana Cake, Cookbooks, Baking, Chocolate Cake, Covid, recipes, food stories, covid, food writing, Oregon, grief, loss, family, midlife, ageing Comments

Fried Eggs Over Medium

Fried Eggs Over Medium

Everyone I know likes their eggs cooked a specific way. For me, it is one of the ultimate intimacies, up there on the list with how they take their coffee, or what they don’t want on their sandwich.

Food, FamilyShanti NelsonSeptember 1, 2022Self-discovery, bayarea, family, Eggs, food

Waves of Healing

Waves of Healing

Do we ever really heal from the loss of those we love so dearly?

Shanti NelsonAugust 22, 2022mom, healing, Loss, grief, ocean, nature, Santa Cruz, parents, death, dying, inspirationComment

Sea Salt for the Soul

Sea Salt for the Soul

I always head to the ocean when I’m going through a rough patch or need to do a bit of soul searching.

NatureShanti NelsonJuly 28, 2022beach, ocean, water, healing, grief, retreat, self-discovery, self care, sant cruz, comfort Comments

Belize & My Heart's Kitchen

Belize & My Heart's Kitchen

I’m on a tiny island, fifty miles off the coast of Belize, parked behind my laptop at a communal dining table in the kitchen.

Shanti NelsonJuly 23, 2022Comment

The Comfort of Small Things

The Comfort of Small Things

Shanti NelsonJune 10, 2022Grief, healing, family, self care, self-discovery, loss, childhood home, parents, Finding comfort, Finding Joy, Joy, Happiness, tea, comfort, solaceComment

The Sweetest Bite

The Sweetest Bite

Shanti NelsonMay 21, 2022croissants, los angeles, gjusta, mom, kitchen, grief, healing, Self-discovery, self care, comfort food, Food, Pastry, Comfort food, Comfort, Yummy, Delicious, Cooking, Baking

What Makes Your Soul Smile?

What Makes Your Soul Smile?

Shanti NelsonFebruary 8, 2022grief, healing, Self-discovery, parents, Loss, self care, soul, soul searching Comments

Exploring the Magic of the Oregon Coast

Exploring the Magic of the Oregon Coast

Shanti NelsonApril 3, 2021Oregon Coast, Oregon, Pacific Ocean, Pacific Coast, Pacific Northwest, Tillamook Bay, Scenic Coast Highway, Highway 101, Scenic drive, Sunset, RoadtripsComment

In My Backyard: Summer Lovin'

In My Backyard: Summer Lovin'

In My Backyard: Coffee and the Deschutes River Trail

In My Backyard: Coffee and the Deschutes River Trail

In My Backyard, Food & DrinksShanti NelsonJuly 25, 2019Bend, Oregon, Deschutes River, Trails, Birdwatching, Travel, Exploring, Birds, Wilderness, Ben, thumpcofffee Comments